Integral Awakening

The Unknowns of Integral Practice

Just found an interesting essay: Integral Transformative Practice: A Participatory Perspective by Jorge Ferrer posted on Integral World.  A few points for pondering from this: the difference between integral practice and integral training as components of integral growth; domination of the cognitive/mental realm on IP; and the inclusion of both masculine AND feminine (organic, natural emergence) approach to IP (oh, and I did not read the presentation of Albareda and Romeros's Holistic Integration, so I am not sure how worthwhile it is or is not).

After reading ebuddha's post on integral feedback I have thought a lot about IP, both in terms of verifying its proposed results (which needs clarification, in my opinion) and how we conceptualize and manifest IP. There seem to be several "unknowns" about IP that stem from an intuitive acceptance of it (I am not saying I disagree with the validity or authenticity of IP. I am all for IP and believe it is much needed in society; however, for us to really benefit from any externalized talk/models about IP, we have to dig deeper - that is if you approach it that way or perhaps you understand external discussion about IP as being descriptive rather than informative and something that requires intentional engagement. I happen to think it is both).

I am going to explore this through an essay I am working on because I think some research is needed for this to be fruitful. I also want to balance this with an organic approach; I do not want this to be "head games". Solely cognitizing (yeah, I making up words) IP seems to be counterproductive, don't you think? At worst it lends to an egoic and narcissistic approach to IP. In any case, more to come later and as always, I'd love to hear about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

danNAKED

Dan Allison has started a very interesting audio site: danNAKED. He has posted a conversation with the wonderful Brandy George (praise the lord, she lives!!) on speech patterns and how they give some insight into the interiors of the person speaking. Dan and Brandy are referring to particular non-verbal messages (not the content) that really do scream/sing what is in our heart and minds: there is no escaping it.
I wrote about this when I was going through my practicum. My supervisor pushed us to not focus on the what  a person was saying but how they are saying it. The difficulty lies with the fact that, while we analyze speech patterns of an individual, we also have our own unconscious interior patterns that can shade our interpretation. So, being aware of our own "stuff" is a requisite. In this audio, Dan and Brandy share a little about their own thoughts and feelings about hearing their own voices.
I have not heard my voice on audio very much but I sense how I am speaking. The context or content of conversation influences me greatly. Sometimes words flow easily and others I am an insecure, nervous wreck, and even if I appear calm and collected to the average person, those who are sensitive to non-verbals will know better.

Acts of Kindness

I want to share with you a touching experience that my wife and I had (more so her, as you'll see). Nebraska has had a string of nasty storms with hail and several spotted tornadoes. The first one happened a couple of weeks ago and it was the scariest one for our area. The residence hall next to me, the twin tower of mine, has tornado sirens on top and they went off for the first time in three years while we have been here. That is scary enough, but even more so when I'm in charge of the building. Luckily, the vast majority of students had already left for the summer and just a few staff members are living in.

Just before the sky let loose a torrential downpour followed by golf ball size hail (which bruised 2 summer students all over their bodies), my wife Aimee' had seen a dad and daughter outside and asked if they wanted to come in because really bad out. They declined. Not more than a few minutes later: rain, hail, and the sirens. Aimee' caught them again and let them into our building (which is locked 24-7 when school is not in session). She took them to our basement shelter, gave them warm towels, and gave the daughter a couple of her dry t-shirts. After it was all over they left saying thanks and Aimee' told them to bring the shirts back whenever they had time.

Two weeks later: Yesterday, the main office calls me saying that Aimee' has a package (she was at work at the time). I go over and the dad and his three kids are there, although I did not recognize them at first. He had a little gift bag for Aimee' and was so nice:) He asked about how things were going and what we were up to. Before I left he said there was a little money in the bag and to be sure not to lose it. I was really moved that he would come out to say thanks, as was Aimee' when I told her. Later, when she opened it, she found a sweet letter from the daughter and a letter from the dad saying how Aimee' was a role model for his daughter. He also said how he remembered how broke he was in college (now an M.D.) and with the letter gave Aimee' $200.00!!!! *gasp*! Of course the gift is amazing, but we were both so moved by the kindness itself, the relationship of it all. Deep appreciation is not shown much these days, especially not between strangers (money or not).

Aimee' and I both thought, "well, what else would have done in that situation? That's what 'people' do." Not really. One of my bosses was caught driving in the storm with her husband, when the sirens went off, on the highway. If you have never been to Nebraska, there is practically nothing between cities. They find a motel with a cover to park under and the manager comes out and tells them that they have to leave or pay $150.00, it's private property!!!! WTF?!!!!

Kindness is not a given.

The Eclipse of Metatheory

Metatheory-Theory-Reality
Originally uploaded by integralawakening.

I was inspired to write this after reading a couple of Joe Perez's posts: FULL S.T.E.A.M. AHEAD and
Homophobia? What Homophobia? Oh THAT homophobia!

One hindrance, or rather a "wrong turn" taken, that emerges in applying metatheory, such as AQAL, is when the metatheory itself eclipses the theories,and as result reality, that it is supposed to be informing. In other words, the metatheory is created, comes into existence, and rather than being in a dynamic relationship with theories and reality it becomes static whereby it becomes a cookie cutter and kaleidoscope, attempting to form everything to it and permanently tenting everything one sees, as it were (see this drawing).  I don't know that this is always done with mal intentions, but it happens. Also, metatheory is supposed to just that: meta, beyond, or a map, as Wilber says. But to make the map useful we have to PUT IT DOWN and get moving! Instead of this, what I hear a lot of his vague talk about AQAL being applied, what I call Generic Integral.

I do not often see or hear real progress or results, how AQAL is being applied. This does not mean that it is not happening or that I have never heard of it. I think that it would happen more if individuals would first stop trying to eclipse reality with the metatheory and second put the map down and stop integrally masterbating. I appreciate Joe's writing, and as an example his post on Homophobia, because he's not remaining in meta-playland. It is very easy to see how it goes from meta to theory and to reality. When this happens AQAL is beautiful and indispensable. He also gives "a different way to talk" about integral, a new phrase and acronym: FULL S.T.E.A.M AHEAD. I'll let you read his explanation, but I think it is perhaps easier to understand for the average, as well as being able to bring integral down from the clouds and to reality.

Information Overload

"There are so many blogs to read!" Pick three (Just Write! plus two others), and read the shit out of them. Read posts 4 or 5 times over. Comment on them ten times. Draw a mindmap in your sketchbook and plot out all the tangents and considerations this one blog post has you considering. Chew, mulch, mull over. Quantity of info and opinions is no match for quality...Restrain yourself from consuming "junk data", information you don't need which will only fill your mind with lard and cholesterol. Just Write!

AMEN! I have personally struggled with doing just that. There is SO much on the web, especially with blogs, that it is mind blowing. I marvel at those who have the time and the ability to soke it all in like mini Ken Wilbers. I am not. When I try, I feel like my mind wants to upchuck. That's not how I work. I must delve into one piece at a time. I am happy that a fellow blogger has stood up and said "Enough is Enough!". It help gives me permission to do what feels natural (I actually have a sketch book that I have never used - now I will). Thanks Paul.

Rising Up

Joe Perez is back and blogging:

If Rising Up is about anything at all, then it’s about telling the truth. It is speaking what I see though it may disturb the religious, unquiet the enlightened, and frighten the forces of secular power and worldly domination. It means speaking with the humble awareness that I could always be wrong, but I need not ever be ashamed. It isn’t always convenient to say Yes! to life, to the future, to Spirit ... but that is the privilege we are invited to receive. Rising Up

Ken Wilber has written the foreword to his upcoming book, The Soulfully Gay:

Joe’s art, the raw materials, can be found in his essays, his blogs, this book, delivered with urgency and lust and luminosity, the best and the worst, the glorious and the degraded--there is room for all of it ... for the secret is not that all of it is pretty, but that you tell the truth about it, converting even the grotesque into the sublime, if you tell the truth.

Awesome.

Integral Masterbation

Integral Smut
Originally uploaded by integralawakening.

Feels good, doesn't it?

Most of us in the Wilber-integral community have been "guilty" of it. In some ways it is not at all "sinful".

Naturally, there has been criticisms of differing nature directed towards Ken Wilber, the Integral Institute, and the Wilber-integral community in general. This is healthy for both the individuals and and the collective groups, but I think that it is also advantageous to consider what it means for individuals to look within to understand how and why these criticisms arise from a developmental perspective. I am not negating or discarding the objective truths they imply but rather to take a different viewpoint.

So, what about this Integral Masterbation? I am not sure that there is extensive qualitative or quantitative research exists in assessing the development of integral consciousness (call it what you like, using whatever model you like). I suspect that there are many substages and that the first might be characterized by an intense self-exploration, especially if we consider the social and global context in which it is now arising. Using Spiral Dynamics (which is also lacking in similar supportive research, but I find it useful nonetheless) the jump to second-tier is considered quite profound for the individual. Also, it is the first time we are seeing significant amounts of individuals reaching this stage of consciousness. Is it any wonder that these individuals would form communities and engage in Integral Masterbation? An external model of integral, such as Wilber AQAL, is just the right fix. Again, my intention is not to reduce AQAL to subjective satisfaction, but that individuals will want and need this type of exploration. It's healthy.

Eventually, Integral Masterbation gets a little old (moving beyond the first substage) and we want to get Busy with the Kosmos (new substage, more organic than the first). In other words, less focusing on all these external creations, which are now seen as smut. But this doesn't mean that these models or communities are "bad". Perhaps a large part of the discontentment and criticisms is a change in development. Not all, but maybe some.

And do we expect these external manifestations to be perfect? I would hope not. Their imperfection does not necessitate their dismissal. External models help us check ourselves. They are not the end all and I think the criticisms are pointing to just that. Nothing of samsara will ever be perfect and we will never help anyone if we do not channel our passion outward and into the world.

IA Makeover

Bloggin' in the Office
Originally uploaded by integralawakening.

Finally! I have been wanting to redesign this blog for a long time. To do everything took me three days of almost non-stop work (i.e. I am html challenged, but I have learned enough to get me by). It's nothing to brag about by I like the new look.

Here are some changes and updates:

• New "About Me" page, entitled "What is Integral Awakening?"
• I bought a new digital camera (thanks to coolmel for the help!)and opened a flikr account (not many pictures yet)
• Separate index pages for links (Inspiring Links) and books (Inspiring Reads)
• Image links to Firefox, Amnesty International, and the Hunger Site
• Headline Animator for Generation Sit
• Donation Button through Paypal. This is basically a tip jar, like a musician might have, if someone feels so inclined to give.
• Added these blogs to the list:
  • Act Awake
  • I-I Bulletin Board
  • Jack/Zen
  • Just Write
  • Kosmic Aperture
  • Matthew Dallman
  • One More Paradigm
  • Ottmar Liebert
  • The Human Bean
  • Vomiting Confetti
  • Watch for Cairns
  • dan, the (w)hole
• Added some new links
  • Wikipedia
  • Vajranatha
  • International Coaching Federation
  • American Counseling Association
  • Logotherapy Institute
  • Beginner Triathlete
  • Tri Swim Coach
  • Trisports
  • Creative Commons

I think that is everything! Later I will be updating my book list. I have many more to add to it. I'm tired of looking at html - barf.

Shedding Layers

Graduate Diploma
Originally uploaded by integralawakening.

As you open yourself to living at your edge, your deepest purpose will slowly begin to make itself known. In the meantime, you will experience layer after layer of purposes, each one getting closer and closer to the fullness of your deepest purpose. David Deida

On May 6th, 2005 I received my Master of Science in Education, Counseling and Psychology from the University of Nebraska at Kearney.

I have also come to the end of my time as a residence hall director.
It's been a long and life changing journey. As one of my dear
professors has said "The person that walks in at the beginning is not
the person that walks out at the end". So, now what?  I am in an
interim period of my life and am taking the words of David Deida as my guiding force (from The Way of the Superior Man):

A man must be prepared to give 100% to his purpose, fulfill his karma or dissolve it, and then let go of that specific form of living. He must be capable of not knowing what to do with his life, entering a period of unknowingness and waiting for a vision or a new form of purpose to emerge.

I felt so invigorated when I first read
this a few days ago. I had been frustrated that I did not know exactly
what I wanted to "do" with my new beginning and change. As difficult as
that might be, last fall during my practicum, I unwaveringly decided
that I would not continue to deny my intuition about my life purpose. I
had hoped by this point I would know; however, my dissatisfaction is
just more of me trying to coerce vision to manifest. But this takes
contemplation and space and I am letting this be, committing to not
knowing. I do have some clear pulses in my soul: helping others,
spiritual awakening, and writing. The details have not yet shown
themselves. Possibilities might be life coaching and/or working towards
a Ph.D. at the Union Institute. I am also interested in considering job opportunities with Integral Institute, should any arise that might be a good fit. Certainly, I will continue to be dedicated to spiritual practice. For now, I am content with waiting and watching.

My First Triathlon

First Triathlon Number
Originally uploaded by integralawakening.

I completed my first triathlon on April 24 along with my wife (her first). I completed the 500 meter swim, 14 mile bike ride, and 3.1 mile run in 1:38:34, which is really good considering my background. I learned to swim at the end of January and then trained for only 8 weeks (12 is standard for your first one). On top of this I had not done any aerobic exercise in over 6 months and nothing regular in over a year. As a matter of fact, I purposely did not do any while I tried to put on some muscle. I highly recommend considering training for a triathlon for exercise. First, don't worry about how in or out of shape you're in. A sprint distance is doable by almost anyone. Many individuals you would not believe unless you saw them finish (and I had several 50-70 years beat me!). Training for a triathlon gives you variety (good if you get bored easily), gives you a goal to motivate you, and can be fun, especially if you have a partner to train with. Downside: could cost you some money to get the equipment.

Here are some links: Beginner Triathlete - awesome, Trisports

Another Post at GenSit

I have finally posted again on Generation Sit. Even though I have not been able to write, I have been able to read many of the fellow bloggers' posts. The site is quite amazing, not only in the dialogue that has been generated, but also because I do not think it is happening in this format anywhere else. Thanks to Vince for giving your gift of initiative and insight.

Nerd Alert

Nerd Alert
Originally uploaded by integralawakening.

I bought Roget's A-Z Thesaurus and Woe is I. A little help never hurts.